Just Gone…

Its been six days since NFPoC was suspended and i have yet to hear back from WordPress.  I’m going to give them one more day, then I’ll send another e-mail to them.  What makes this so bad is that i checked the site and the posts that i made are just gone.  I can’t even get those pictures back.  And the really sad part is the posts are gone and i cannot remember each one so i can start over if i have to.  Speaking of starting over, if i have to I’ll just start NFPoC on another blog site.  I’ve been doing some looking and the prospects for a free site look reasonably good.  If anyone has any suggestions just post them in the comments section.

Naturism for People of Color has been suspended.

I just found out today when i was trying to log on to deal with comments and such.  I have no idea why it was suspended, but apparently I am not the only one since another friend of mine, Guy without Boxers, was also suspended.  I’ve sent a report asking why, but it may be a while before any response is given.  So for now I need to be careful, since i have no idea what got me suspended, I’ll have to wait and not post anything with nudity in it.  If the suspension is not lifted I’ll start the blog over somewhere else.

added Note:  If anyone needs to contact me they can do so at shatterhandgame@yahoo.com.  Sorry for the inconvenience that this may have caused

A sense of loss…

I used to sit back in the house and be nude all day and all night.  Now with steady employment i no longer have the time.  Even though I don’t work seven days a week or all day, it feels like i lost something very important.  Me time.  It seems now that every time i get some time to myself there’s something to do that requires me to put on clothes.  Yard work, giving my cousin a ride, something.  I kinda feel lost at times but I’m pretty sure that I like money so I’ll keep working.  I guess there is a part of me that is still getting used to all this change since its been so long since I worked a steady job.  But I also think its because I don’t really like the job.  And it’s not just the people, or the hours.  It because i feel that I’ve really gotten nowhere.  I try not to be arrogant but a really big part of me keeps saying, “This job is for plebs.  I was doing this kind of shit when I was fifteen.  Why am i here again 23 years later?”  Even my parents who were so happy that i finally landed the job are pushing me to find something better right now.  They even gave me some book for the local community college in hopes i can get some kind of skill.  And to be honest i have looked at and noticed a forklift class for about $139 for a one day class.  That’s at least 65% of one paycheck from Hardee’s.  I don’t know if i want to spend that kind of money, even if my parents are willing to help me pay for it.

But I now am also praying and hoping that i get a call later this week for another job at another restaurant, as a dishwasher.  I’d be making $8.00 per hour with a guaranteed 40 hours a week.  Once again its another job that i worked early in my adult life and I was so happy to even be considered for the job, but now I find myself once again wondering if the job is beneath me.  I really do not want to think like that.  I want to work so i can at least say that as a man i have a decent job and can support myself, even if I am a dishwasher.  *sigh*  So do i work two jobs, one that is crummy and i don’t care too much for, and I beneath my station but I’ll actually enjoy going to work every day.  Or do i try to take some class and hope i can get a even better job in the future.  I just don’t know.  I know if i get two jobs I’ll have more money, less time to be nude, and even less time to deal with my cousins.  Which other then the money, seems like a big plus to having two jobs.  Well its time for bed.  I have to be at work at 7 AM tomorrow.  Just thinking about that makes the dishwashing job seem even more appealing.

Some more about my life.

Well i need something to do in between video games and nothing else to do, so i am going to write in my blog.

So about my earlier post.  Time to expand i guess.  To make it easy, the medicine i take to keep my blood sugar under control also gives me some mild form of diarrhea.  So yesterday i was sitting on the toilet for the third time in about a hour and all of a sudden its like I’m pissing out of my anus.  Its happened before and it is not a great feeling.  But it does make for some curiosity from a certain standpoint.  So you’re like wondering, “IS this what it feels like for a woman to take a piss?”  Thankfully “pissing out a shit” doesn’t happen very often and so far there isn’t much i can do medication-wise so i am kinda stuck.  But its better then doing injections.

My job.  Like I said before in another post I am starting to hate working with black people, even though i am black myself.  My mother says that the types of people jobs in fast food attract would generally clash with someone like myself.  It’s funny because 10 years ago i would have felt right at home with the people i am working with now.  But now all i feel is a sense of annoyance with many of them.  They are immature, loud, and crude.  They are nosy and can’t seem to take a hint.  I am not interested in being a member of their ‘happy family’.  All I am interested in is doing my job well, going home, and collecting my paycheck every two weeks.  The sad thing is I am constantly told that I am too slow in putting together the biscuits so the general manager feels that I am not suited for the job.  But i am truly trying my best.  Maybe I’m not cut out to do what I’m doing back there.  But i am still going to try to stick with it.  Why?  Because i realize what a annoying little cunt i used to be back when i was in my 20’s.  I see so much of what people used to say about my behavior back then, but i couldn’t see it.  Maybe this is karma.  Or maybe God is giving me a good lesson before i move on to something better.  So for now I am there.  On another note though i may be getting a job at the new Texas Roadhouse that will be opening in August.  I pray i do get the job there as a dishwasher.  I washed dishes for much of my working life when i was younger and i was always good at it.  So i may as well go back to it.  Hopefully in August I’ll get the job.

Family and Home.  Well my family is doing good.  They are all healthy and happy.  That’s a good thing.  My house is still standing.  So that’s a good thing too.  But things are different.  I went out and bought some wash and dish cloths for the house a couple of weeks ago and so far i am quite pleased with them.  I should have done this years ago but i was lazy, forgetful and didn’t spend my money very well either.  Now that I have the extra cash I will spend it much more wisely.  I will buy things to make my life better.

My Health.  Blood Sugar is doing well.  I am sleeping well at night.  Beyond anything else i am fine.

Naturism.  Well i am still nude around the house as much as I can be.  Its the one thing i miss now that i have work to do.  I am still holding out for a chance to go to a naturist resort some time this summer.  But with work and some money issues I may not be able to do it.  We’ll see.

Also by the way i turned 38 July 16th.

Gotta love Life sometimes.

Work was kinda shitty today.  But for some reason as I write this i feel a lot better about it all.  Life is good right now in a lot of ways.  On Wednesday i get paid, my car has air conditioning, and I have my health.  Although my driver side door no longer opens and I am literally pissing out of my ass thanks to Metformin.  Yeah I finally have a small idea of what its like to have a vagina.  I have to admit i find the whole idea kinda interesting.  From a physical point of view, I have not gone gender-queer yet and have no plans to.

Hurting but Happy.

Well since Saturday night i have had a very sore back.  Its been hard to move and pain pills only do so much.  I can barely find a comfortable position to sleep in.  But i have good news.  I got a job working at Hardees.  So in a few days i start working and I’ll make $7.75 an hour.  I’ll be working from 4 AM to maybe 12 noon.  Sounds good to me, i need the extra money.