living with grief…then living on.

i haven’t written in over two weeks now. i have to admit i have been in mourning, depression, and a lot of anger at God, the world, and even myself. I had no idea grief and mourning felt this way. I realize I’ve never truly mourned anyone’s passing before. Not even close family members. It feels like its so hard to write now. A part of me doesn’t want to look at this blog because i feel it will dredge up bad memories. but i realize i have to have the courage to start moving on. From Stacey and from Sarah.

Unfortunately i am also suffering from carpal tunnel syndrome. This has made long periods of writing, and even some short periods, next to impossible due to a lot of pain. But I’ll find a way to write because i really need to get back to living again. And writing here definitely helps me. Right now though i am physically tired for some reason. So i feel like laying down and taking a nap more then anything else at the moment. I will probably do just that after i finish this post. And yes i will say something about what happened. Maybe. I strongly stress the word MAYBE now because it depends on how i feel about having that on the blog to remind me of what happened.


2 thoughts on “living with grief…then living on.

  1. I hope you are feeling better. I, too, have carpal tunnel. Most days are good, but when it is not, life gets hard.

    Since you are already dealing with grief, every little thing will be magnified and every big thing will seem nearly impossible.

    I’m glad you are writing your way through some of it. Finding a way to express your emotions helps to see more clearly what you are dealing with.

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