damn That Man…

*sigh* damnit! So today my Mike radar starts pinging and sure enough Mike’s at my back door. I had just got out of the shower so i came in a towel. Mike knows I’m a naturist and he’s seen me nude plenty of times so it’s no biggie. *sigh* Micheal-baka! *sigh* He came over just so I’d wish him luck and give him encouragement. Like I said, he’s a doofus. But i love him. I love him too much some times. I’ve always forgiven him and i always will.

Just about 5 days ago we were moving in my new bed, and you know what he says to me. “Hey William I’m surprised you haven’t even started hitting on me yet.” To tell the truth i haven’t even thought about him sexually. Its not like i’ve lost total interest, but well….he’s been having sex with that “woman” and a part of me still sees him as married to that wench so the thought hadn’t really crossed my mind. Then he says that and i was speechless for a second. I just told him to wait. Not to be hit on, but to understand that i do care but…well it’s hard to explain.

Mike has always been straight or maybe a little bi-curious in my mind. But with everything else in my life i guess I’m just not ready to play around. Even with someone like him who i trust and love explicitly. I wish i had a better way to say it, i really wish I did. But I just didn’t feel comfortable even thinking about him sexually at that moment. And I’m still not sure if I do now. I just don’t have a great way to explain it all.

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