Shutting this down.

After several e-mails with some WordPress moderators i have finally figured out where i went wrong and why the original Naturism for People of Color was shut down.  Apparently i didn’t inform WordPress that this blog and NFPOC was to have ‘mature’ content on them so that is why NFPOC was suspended and now so has this blog.  I was allowed back in to basically collect my things and leave so I may set up a new blog on one of the subsidiaries of WordPress, like WordPress.org and a few others.  Basically after more then three years with both these blogs either i was reported as having ‘mature’ content or during a sweep of the site they noticed my blogs and decided to suspend them without notice.  But it says they can do so in the Terms of Service so I’m stuck.  I have about a week left to get the rest of what i want and leave.  So i’m pretty much done.  I’ll have the new blogs set up in a day or two and I’ll leave the new addresses for each blog on this one and then i’ll delete the blog myself.  Its been fun and every thanks for being so loyal and understanding.

A sense of loss…

I used to sit back in the house and be nude all day and all night.  Now with steady employment i no longer have the time.  Even though I don’t work seven days a week or all day, it feels like i lost something very important.  Me time.  It seems now that every time i get some time to myself there’s something to do that requires me to put on clothes.  Yard work, giving my cousin a ride, something.  I kinda feel lost at times but I’m pretty sure that I like money so I’ll keep working.  I guess there is a part of me that is still getting used to all this change since its been so long since I worked a steady job.  But I also think its because I don’t really like the job.  And it’s not just the people, or the hours.  It because i feel that I’ve really gotten nowhere.  I try not to be arrogant but a really big part of me keeps saying, “This job is for plebs.  I was doing this kind of shit when I was fifteen.  Why am i here again 23 years later?”  Even my parents who were so happy that i finally landed the job are pushing me to find something better right now.  They even gave me some book for the local community college in hopes i can get some kind of skill.  And to be honest i have looked at and noticed a forklift class for about $139 for a one day class.  That’s at least 65% of one paycheck from Hardee’s.  I don’t know if i want to spend that kind of money, even if my parents are willing to help me pay for it.

But I now am also praying and hoping that i get a call later this week for another job at another restaurant, as a dishwasher.  I’d be making $8.00 per hour with a guaranteed 40 hours a week.  Once again its another job that i worked early in my adult life and I was so happy to even be considered for the job, but now I find myself once again wondering if the job is beneath me.  I really do not want to think like that.  I want to work so i can at least say that as a man i have a decent job and can support myself, even if I am a dishwasher.  *sigh*  So do i work two jobs, one that is crummy and i don’t care too much for, and I beneath my station but I’ll actually enjoy going to work every day.  Or do i try to take some class and hope i can get a even better job in the future.  I just don’t know.  I know if i get two jobs I’ll have more money, less time to be nude, and even less time to deal with my cousins.  Which other then the money, seems like a big plus to having two jobs.  Well its time for bed.  I have to be at work at 7 AM tomorrow.  Just thinking about that makes the dishwashing job seem even more appealing.

Gotta love Life sometimes.

Work was kinda shitty today.  But for some reason as I write this i feel a lot better about it all.  Life is good right now in a lot of ways.  On Wednesday i get paid, my car has air conditioning, and I have my health.  Although my driver side door no longer opens and I am literally pissing out of my ass thanks to Metformin.  Yeah I finally have a small idea of what its like to have a vagina.  I have to admit i find the whole idea kinda interesting.  From a physical point of view, I have not gone gender-queer yet and have no plans to.

Hurting but Happy.

Well since Saturday night i have had a very sore back.  Its been hard to move and pain pills only do so much.  I can barely find a comfortable position to sleep in.  But i have good news.  I got a job working at Hardees.  So in a few days i start working and I’ll make $7.75 an hour.  I’ll be working from 4 AM to maybe 12 noon.  Sounds good to me, i need the extra money.

Happenings.

Well i have to apologize.  It has been 4 months since my last post.  But if you read my last post then you know I’ve been busy, and yeah i have been through a lot.

First off, my diabetes.  Yeah i still have diabetes.  All hopes for it suddenly disappearing have been dashed.  But i have managed to keep my blood sugar under control.  Since i have contracted this condition my resistance to being cold has dropped even more.  Forcing me to wear something around the house in order to keep warm unless I crank up the heat and run up heating bills I can barely pay for, so pj’s and t-shirts are the new fashion around the house.  It sucks but I’ve gotten so used to it now I barely think about it.  It feels like I may have to give up my at-home nudist title during the winter and early spring

I just started taking Metformin about a month ago and while it hasn’t radically changed my life, its given me a bit of a buffer so i can enjoy more food now. I am still doing some injections each day.  The reason why is because my A1C is at 9.3 and it needs to be at 7.5 or 7.0.  Considering the fact that i was at 15.1 when i left the hospital 4 months ago, my endocrinologist says that its a good improvement.  I was hoping it would be around 8.0 or 7.0.  Exercising has been the major problem because of the cold, and now because of the rain.  At this rate I’ll have to start going to the mall and walking in doors to get some exercise, and that will cost me some gas.

In the family drama corner I finally had to detach myself from my cousin Quanisha and her older sister Tenika.  Maybe I’ll write about it later but they did something to piss me off so no more rides from me, and that was about two months ago.  Suffice to say i haven’t been out or had any real fun for myself since the hospital.  Other then visiting family; i just work and stay home.  Why, because my meds are so expensive and i barely have any money left.  Its been a pain, but i have to admit, being depressed and having a online game to occupy my time has made it easier.  But tonight i am going out.  Well i can only hope that life gets better from here on out.

So i have diabetes.

Yeah.  Sorry i haven’t written about this until now but i’ve been busy dealing with so much that has happened since December 17th.  But lets get to the point.  This post is part blog post and part diary entry so i can remember everything that happened that day.

Since thanksgiving i had been dealing with having blurry vision.  Things got worse on the 15th of December when i started pissing a lot and constantly being thirsty.  At first i thought it was merely the flu and me drinking way too much soda.  But on Monday I decided to go to my local doctor and see if he could work me in.  Well i spoke with his nurse and she came back to me and told me that my doctor said i should go to the emergency room with the symptoms I had, and so off i went to urgent care instead.  At urgent care they had a three hour wait.  I really thought about and decided to go to the emergency room instead.  When i arrived at the emergency room it was already full up with people and it was 7 PM before they actually saw me.  And I had been there since 12 PM.

They had already taken some blood from me while i was in the waiting room, so when they finally got me to a room in the emergency wing they had me lay on some kind of exam bed and wait.  About 30 minutes later a nurse appeared and decided to give me a blood sugar test.  She pricked my finger and got the blood, the glucose meter beeped and then she looked at me with wide eyes and said, “My meter can’t even read you.  That means your blood sugar is really high.  I’ll be right back.” And out the door she went.  A few minutes later they are hooking me up to a IV and telling me that my blood sugar was over 800 and that i was a diabetic.

Yeah i was shocked to say the least, maybe even dismayed.  But before i could panic or get really upset that song from the movie “Frozen” started going through my head.  Yeah that song, “Let It Go.”  Suffice to say that song had been stuck in my head on and off for days.  I have no idea why it popped up at that moment, but it calmed me down a lot and just said that i would deal with it.

So i called my parents and they arrived and sat with me in the room.  I just felt sort of upset but mostly calm, in fact i felt kinda dopey, even though i had not been given any kind of medication.  At least i knew what was wrong and what i had to do.  I just laid there and talked with my parents for more then two hours before they went home because they were tired.  The nurses told me i would be stuck in that room until they had one open up and then around 10 PM they told me they were admitting me and the doctor that visited me told me that there was a good chance that i could beat the whole thing if they got me started on insulin and Metformin early on.  That cheered me up a little but i had no idea how i was going to implement all of his suggestions.

Later on that night they moved me to a different room in the Emergency area, and i was supposed to go to sleep, but i didn’t.  How could i?  I had just been diagnosed with a life changing illness and to top it off the monitor seemed to beep every twenty minutes.  Around 3 AM they came to do the morning blood tests, and so by about 4 maybe 5 AM i went to sleep.  At 8 AM i woke up, my parents came in around 9 AM and they also fed me.  The food was crap in my opinion.  It was cold and it was diabetic food so yuck.

About two hours later they moved me to the Rapid Treatment center and told me that i would be discharged later that day.  My parents went out and bought me some clothes since i was wearing a hospital gown my by then.  At 2:30 PM they discharged me with some insulin injectors and a good-bye.  Before i walked out of there i said good-bye to another man who came into the emergency room around the same time i did.

I spent the night at my parents’ place and during the day and night i was there my vision improved and i learned everything i needed to know about diabetes and injecting insulin and how i needed to change my eating habits.  The next day though i was ready to go home and just be left alone so i could process everything that had happened to me.  Suffice to say, that didn’t really happen.  A lot happened in between the 17th and tonight.  I will post on that later.  But now I’ve updated myself and everyone who follows my blog.  And now i have a new category to add to my list: diabetes.  😦

Well I have some good news.

Just got the call from the doctors office a few minutes ago.  Every thing is good.  It’s nothing but some fluid surrounding both testicles.  Nothing to get upset about.  But the nurse could not elaborate as to how long each day I am supposed to be wearing the athletic support gear (jockstrap).  But what i was told is I do not have to take those pills every day, ONLY when i have pain or tenderness in that area!  So the pills are heading to the medicine cabinet tonight, YEAY!  Beyond that i just have to wait and hope i hear from the doctor about this jockstrap thing.  For now I’ll just call it a athletic support gear or ASG.  But thank God nothing was seriously wrong with.  Thanks to everyone for their prayers and support.