Emotional Roller-coaster for Thanksgiving.

Well as the title states it was a hell of a ride for Thanksgiving and beyond.  A couple of days before Thanksgiving I traveled with my parents by car to Ohio to be with my brother’s family for Thanksgiving.  We stayed from Tuesday to Saturday, making it back around 5 pm Saturday.  I took all sorts of pictures and played with my baby nephew who has just begun walking over the last month.  He takes a few steps and then falls over.  Its a good laugh and we all cheer him on as he looks at us with a big grin on his face!

But on the day we left to go to Ohio i got a call around 4 Am from my friend Tasha.  Her ex-husband and father of her two children had died just a couple of hours before she called me.  I was trapped between staying in town to comfort her or go with my family.  As you can see from reading above, i decided to go with my family, i had already made the commitment.

On the way home i also realized that i had either a really bad cold or the flu because i felt like crap the whole way home.  Saturday night i had chills.  I managed to make it to the funeral on Sunday afternoon and back home.  The funeral was a somber affair, i won’t go into details about how Fred died, but suffice to say it was sad none the less.  After that for about 3 days more i was battling whatever i had until i felt better.  And during those three days i had cousins asking for rides and such, i was not in a good mood, but i made it through.  On Tuesday i went to the doctor to ask about the ASG and how long i was supposed to wear the thing.  The nurse couldn’t give me a straight answer.  Although she did suggest that i should wear it when i had a need to.  At that time i took that advice to mean i had to figure it out for myself, since she apparently could not or did not ask the doctor since he was not there.  So i decided not to wear the ASG anymore since i felt i didn’t need it.

That idea lasted all of 3 days when i began to feel some tenderness and soreness in my right testicle again.  So i have been wearing the ASG on and off.  The thing is so damned uncomfortable though, so i wear it sparingly.  I finally decided to order something better online, cost me a total of twelve bucks for one pair on Amazon.  Although to be honest some of the sexy stuff looks a lot more comfortable, I just feel too embarrassed to even order the stuff, let alone wear it.  After i have all my bills sorted out though i may order another pair.  Just to have two comfortable pairs instead of one.

Beyond that I have a appoint with the urologist on the 7th of January.  I wonder why i have to wait so long.

Feminism and the coming Dark Sexual Age.

I found this on 4chan.  the poster said he got it from TOR (the darkweb).  I don’t agree with EVERYTHING.  But i do agree with some things.  Quite insightful in my opinion.

 
Feminism and the Coming Sexual Dark Age
« on: 20 August, 2014, 10:25:56 »

I’m in a coffee shop reading a book.  I look up.  A beautiful young lady has entered the store.  She’s wearing very short shorts (they used to be called Daisy Dukes, but that dates me).  The zipper is pulled down revealing bikini bottoms.  Her shirt only barely covers her breasts, leaving her abdomen uncovered.  She’s blonde to the roots.  Her lips are painted a luscious shade of dark red.  The tops of her breasts are revealed down to her nipples.

She looks around as if expecting to find a friend.  She sees me looking at her.  I probably have a stunned look on my face.  She can probably see the pulse throb in my neck.  I am astonished by her beauty and easy sexuality.  Her lips twist in a snarl.  She sniffs in derision and heads toward the counter.  I can hear the thought running through her mind.  “Creep!”

I have had those reactions before, and not just with people.  I’ve reacted that way to the sight of the Grand Canyon.  A brilliant Aurora Borealis.  An elegantly designed car can get my pulse racing.  A passage in a book.  I’ve been moved to tears by a particular interpretation of Henry V performed in the round.  I have had the same expression on my face while holding a child born not more than an hour before in my arms.  I’ve had that look while watching a painter bringing a beautiful landscape out of a white canvas (happy little trees!).  People understand these reactions.  They nod their heads and say, “Yeah, it’s beautiful.”

When I look at that young lady with her zipper down, revealing bikini bottoms, the half-shirt, and the gloriously painted lips, I am a creep.

I bet it’s not because of my gender.  If Brad Pitt or Johnny Depp or some guy from One Direction looked at her that way, she’d probably go into paroxysms of joy.  Or at the very least she’d be flattered.  Unfortunately I am not gifted with fame, good looks, or youthful demeanor.  I’ve had to take “glamor shots” for marketing purposes.  I’ve had to do interviews.  In both of those cases the hair and makeup people try heroically to make me look somewhat pleasing to the eye.  Of course it’s like tying a bow onto a pig.  Sure, the bow is pretty.  It’s around the pig.  But that’s about all you can say about that.

To this girl I am a creep because I am looking at her in appreciation while being old and ugly.  Some older feminists might say that the simple act of looking “objectifies” her.  That I’m simply appreciating meat and not a personality.  They say that I have no right to be astonished by beauty.  They say that I have no right to look at a woman unless it’s with total objective detachment.  And I begin to wonder what kind of world these women want me to live in.  There are movements in feminism that believe we should call the great artists of the past and their works misogynist, since they mainly dealt with the female nude form.  Why not more male nude paintings?  Certainly the Renaissance had a surfeit of nude males in sculpture and painting?  Why are the painters of the 1800’s and beyond almost solely painting female nudes?  It must be exploitation.  It must be objectification.

They’re saying that I can not have my breath taken away by the curve of a woman’s buttocks.  Or appreciate the gently sloping V from the tops of her hips down to the depths of her groin.  Or appreciate the gentle slope of a breast in repose.  If I do appreciate these things, then I’ve reduced her to only those things.  As if by appreciating the view of the Colorado River from the lip of the Grand Canyon that I cannot then go on and understand its ecology and importance as a geographic structure.

The appreciation of beauty as a goal in itself is now a sin.  If I’m awestruck with beauty, I am a beast.

There is a movement in feminism that says if a man and a woman make love while drunk, she can wake up and press rape charges.  You see, she couldn’t possibly consent to sex if she was inebriated.  It doesn’t matter that the man is in a similar state of mental dysfunction.  It doesn’t matter that he had no indication whatsoever that she’d find the sex objectionable if she was sober.  In fact, it doesn’t matter that she never said “no” or “wait” or “I’m too drunk to have sex”.  She might have had a very pleasant time of it.  But if she’s drunk while having her orgasms, he is a rapist.  Please understand, I’m not talking blackout drunk or being drugged or otherwise incapacitated to the level of not being able to even SAY “no”.  I’m talking about fully consented sex that is regretted later.  Yet some feminists think that it’s okay to level the rape charge.

There are laws on the books that say that a woman’s past history can not be introduced at a rape trial.  If she’s made false rape allegations in the past, the defense attorney for the man can not bring that up during trial.  If the defendant was man #4 in a six man gang-bang, the defense attorney cannot ask her about the other five.  Without any context, without the ability for the defense attorney to provide context, it comes down to her word against his.  And even if the jury sides with him, he’s still tarred in his community as a person who was accused of rape.

The situation where a wife accuses her husband of molesting the kids during the divorce proceedings is so common it’s almost become cliche.  Even if that accusation never makes it to court, it can be used in private to make the husband back off on demands for joint custody.  The husband will back down because he doesn’t want that accusation to cause him to lose his job, his friends, his family, and possibly his freedom.  The wife in this situation can get away with it because the courts are predisposed to believe accusations of fathers molesting their children.

And I don’t even want to talk alimony.  I’ve seen too many friends destroyed financially because of it.  They’re willing to pay child support, but then on top they have to pay ex-wife support as well.  It’s an archaic marriage law concept from a time when women did not have careers, nor really the possibility of one.  It’s out of date, but feminists fight against its removal tooth and nail.

If I sound like some sort of Mens Rights Activist and misogynist bastard to you, I understand.  This kind of talk is typical of the MRA platform.  Not surprisingly, MRA is considered to be a haven for pedophile men by feminists.

The fact is I love women.  I love strong, opinionated women who fight to be heard and respected.  I love watching movies where the female lead kicks ass and is her own woman.  I’ve had girlfriends who frighten other guys with their assertiveness.

I think women should be allowed into every job and role in society that they are qualified for.  I think they should be paid as much as men for doing those jobs.  I’m a huge proponent of Title IX.  I think Gina Carrano (did I spell that right?) is one of the sexiest women alive.  In my romances I want a 50/50 partnership where neither person takes more than they give.

In the times I’ve had to employ women, I’ve treated them as professionals and promote or fire them because of their actions, not their gender.  I believe in total equality between the sexes, not the kind of equality that “grades on a scale”.

But nah, I’m probably considered some drooling Men’s Rights knuckle-dragger by feminists…

What I object to is the feminist desire to go beyond the scope of being treated as total equals.  A lot of rape shield laws were enacted due to the notion that women would feel attacked on the witness stand and thus would refuse to testify.  This is odious to me.  This assumes that women need protection because they are “weak”.  Rape shield laws enshrine the inequality of women in this society by presuming their weakness.

When Monica Lewinsky was in the news for fellating Clinton, feminists were outraged.  Their reasoning?  Even though Lewinsky said many times she pursued Clinton and that the acts were completely consensual, the feminists say that she could not consent due to being helpless against her attraction to a man of great power.  It shocks me to this day that feminists basically said that women are incapable of self control in certain circumstances.

Feminists, especially the #yesallwomen kind, think that every compliment is an assault.  “You look hot in that outfit” is verbal assault in their minds.  Hearing a wolf-whistle on the street is, to feminists, a precursor for sexual assault rather than some immature jerk being rude.  They think that an older man gaping at the sudden appearance of an enormously sexually charged woman is a sign that he wants to rut with her regardless of her personality.

The unfortunate fact is that women are raped.  A lot.  They are sexually assaulted in breathtaking numbers.  They are generally smaller and less able to fight back against an assault by a man.  They go out jogging in a sports bra and shorts and get catcalled by men passing in cars.  They are still sometimes called upon to engage in sexual favors for a promotion (or simply not losing their job).  They have some very legitimate grievances and concerns.  I just learned last week that a woman I know was raped by a client of hers in the course of her duties.  The fact that she’s still doing the same job today is amazing.

I have no problems with any woman who stands up and says that she’s sick of being manhandled and harassed.  I’m with her 100%.  I am a flying buttress of support.

What makes me dislike feminism is their prescriptions for improvement.  Their agenda will take us back into the sexual dark ages of courtly manners and Victorian era stodginess.  They have set up such a minefield of restrictions, conditions, and legal protections that it’s amazing anyone is getting laid.  And it’s only getting worse.  Ministraw complained about “consent contracts” in one of her posts earlier.  I can’t agree more.  We’re headed for a situation in which the only way to have safe sex is with a condom in one hand and a pen in the other.  But the fact is, it’s not working.  In fact, while feminists are trying to control all of the variables of sexuality, the #yesallwomen movement shows that not much progress is being made in stemming the problems.

Feminism has become an anti-sex movement.  They’ll never admit it, but they are.  By treating all men as pigs with no self control they are demonizing half the populace (except gays, who have no interest in them).  We have PSAs now that young boys have to sit through in the theater where they can see Obama and other hollywood stars implore them to not rape women, as if raping women is something that is present in every boy.  Men are treated as creeps because they appreciate beauty without having to go through a ten hour crash course in that specific woman’s history and psychology.

So what is the answer?  If not feminism’s minefield, what else can be instituted to make this a more pleasant society.

Glad you asked.  Make society a sex-positive one!

1. The easiest change to make is to legalize prostitution.  Not only that, but make it something you need to get licensed for.  Taxed.  Regular health checkups.  Labor law protections.  Unions.  If you need hints, just go to Denmark or Germany.  Look at how their red light districts run.  If someone needs sexual gratification, there is an entire industry set up to sate it.  A safe, regulated, taxed industry that protects the prostitutes.

2. Regularize societal acceptance of alternative sexual lifestyles like swinging, or open marriages, or polyamory.  Make it okay to bring home the husband and the boyfriend for Thanksgiving.  Monogamy is an enforced condition and not a human condition.  We crave sexual novelty.  We have the capacity to love more than one person with all of our hearts (just ask a parent of multiple children).

3. Repeal all nudity laws.  There is no such thing as indecent exposure.  It’s just flesh.  Demystify the human body.  Stop treating flesh as something so valuable that it must be hidden, or alternatively so damaging and horrible that it must be hidden.  Nudity with no other action is harmless.  If a man runs down the street with an erection flapping in the breeze, it’s just an erection, not toxic waste.

4. Teach children that sexuality is a wonderful thing to have.  Much like everything else in life it needs to be used with maturity.  Help the children attain that sexual maturity.  Teach them from a young age about consent and respect for another person’s body.  Teach that sexuality is a gift that can be given to another (or multiple others).  It’s not a horrible burden or a damaging activity as long as all parties agree to participate.  Teach about protection against sexual disease and unwanted pregnancy much like you’d teach them to look both ways before crossing the street.

5. Make rape about “sex without consent” again.  There’s enough shades of gray in those three words.  We don’t need any more gray.  Make sexual assault about imposition of genitalia on another person’s body instead of just “viewing someone’s junk”.  An erect penis pressed on a person’s buttocks in a deliberate way on a busy bus is sexual assault.  Seeing someone’s penis while on the bus is not.  If a person is masturbating in your view, it might be rude, but it’s not assault.  If that person happens to be a man and he ejaculates onto you, then it is.

6. Stop hiding affection in the home.  I’m not saying there should be no privacy.  I’m saying that the parents should not hide the fact that they are sexual beings from their children.  That love and sexuality is a wonderful part of being a couple.  Physical contact in a sexual context is not something that is dirty or forbidden.

7. Stop judging anyone for the number of sexual partners they’ve had.  Treat it as you would handshakes or friendly hugs.  Don’t turn sex into a special class of “apex” experiences.  We’re still holding on to the ideals of medieval morals that imply that sex is for procreation and thus can only be performed in a very specific kind of relationship under certain kinds of conditions.  Birth control is cheap.  Condoms are plentiful.  Pregnancy is no longer an inevitable consequence.  And a hymen is a piece of skin, not a bartering chip.

8. If a child is curious about their bodies or yours, don’t turn them away like it’s a verboten thing.  To be sex-positive means that sex and sexual organs are just items on a continuum of human experience.  Sex can be done in the context of deep and abiding love, or it can be done because it’s fun.  Don’t put it, in of itself, on a pedestal without context.

There are probably dozens more.  But the key to a pro-sex society is making sure that children are raised in an environment where sex is commonplace, everyday, available if needed (through a friend, a loved one, or if all else fails a prostitute), and most of all not this secret, hidden, dirty act that damages a person’s worth in society.  If anyone wonders why I call myself a “philosophical pedophile”, it’s because I think that the only way to get to a pro-sex society is to raise a couple of generations of children in it, not because I have a particular sexual attraction to children.

 

Pissed off and shaking my head.

I’m trying to keep my anger in check here, but i need to vent and scream right now!  I have three cousins on my mother’s side of the family, three sisters in fact.  Their names are Nika, the oldest at 33.  Zovia, the second daughter, 27, and Nisha, the youngest at 23. Their mother had each of them out of wedlock, with three different men and then basically dumped them off on her mother.  Now to put this in perspective even further, their mother Teetha and her sister Leetha came to stay at my parents place when they were in their teens and i was still a little kid in hopes of steering them from the path of becoming unwed mothers.  Well it didn’t work, both sisters had kids out of wedlock.

To top it off the eldest daughter of Teetha, Nika had been babysat for months when she was a baby, not only by my mother but also my mother’s mother (my grandmother) for about a year.  Well here we are years later and Nika has three kids out of wedlock by three different men, none of which will or can help.  Zovia has one child out of wedlock with some guy who has been dead since the child was born.  Nisha doesn’t have any kids, yet, but i have helped all three sisters out with either money or rides back and forth to work or shopping for things for their children.

Now over the last few months i have been giving Nisha rides back and forth to work, or over to a female friends house.  Now she knows i will not give her a ride over to any guy’s house because i do not believe in giving rides for booty calls or for you to have sex with or spend time with some lover or beau, especially those three girls because i will not have any role to play in screwing up their lives any further.  But guess what i see on Facebook today?  Nisha making some post about how happy it is to wake up beside some ‘boo’ that you love so deeply.  And just a few hours ago i took her ass over to some income assisted apartment complex because she wanted to hang out with a female friend of her’s.  She has been lying to me from the start!  Lying to my fucking GODDAMN FACE!

Now i can already see how this shit is gonna play out!  Nisha is going to get her stupid, no-education having, ghetto ass pregnant just like her sisters and mother and then expect everyone to help her ass out.  She even has a cousin who is 7 months pregnant right now and can’t even afford to get her own car fixed.  She has numerous examples in friends and family around her to let her know what not to do and yet she is doing the exact same thing her sisters, her mother, her friends, and extended family have done.  And yet…there seems to be no pattern recognition, no epiphany as to how she is risking screwing her life up on a permanent basis.

Well from now on she isn’t getting any rides to any of these other places and i am seriously thinking about just cutting her sorry ass off completely because of this bullshit, which would mean no rides to work either.  *sigh*  I am just so angry and i don’t know what else to say or do.

Are Black Americans Stupid?

I saw this post on Facebook and i decided to link to it here.  It has some great points.

Are Black Americans Stupid?

 

Here’s a quick preview:

I have been out of America for years, now. I can honestly say that when you leave American society, your mind and emotions began to heal. Your actions and thoughts begin to correct themselves. When you don’t watch the bs on TV, eat fast food, or listen to brain dead music on the radio, slowly, your “negro” programming wears off. Your taste buds change. Even the smell of your skin.

I met a rasta a few years ago at a bar. We sat for a while, had a few drinks, and in the middle of the conversation, he told me that I had the mind of a white man.

What the hell!?

I’m the most militant, pro-black person I know. How could he say that? I was offended. Years later, I understand what he meant. Before I get into that, let’s talk about MOST black people in America.

Niggas love being niggas, So much so, that they strive to be REAL niggas. They take pride in saying,”I am a real nigga”. Really? That was your goal in life? To be a real nigga?

I hope my followers will read this with intelligence and discretion.  I don’t agree with everything the author said but i agree with a lot of it.

A vacation with my newborn nephew.

So on the 23rd of this month i went to Ohio with my parents to visit my brother and his wife.  My sister-in-law Joi had recently given birth to a 9 pound, 4 ounce baby boy named Grant.  He was actually a week late so he was nicknamed Turtle by his grandmothers.  ^_^

He’s a handsome kid, who likes to sleep, eat, poop, and then sleep some more.  I had a great time with my family and we made it back on Friday evening.  I have to admit i enjoyed holding Grant so much, and when he would open his eyes and look at us he would always have the almost bewildered look on his face as if he’s trying to figure out who we are and why we are there.  We are truly blessed to have this addition to our family.

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Around the Corner…

So earlier today I went to check on my parent’s place because they are out of town.  After checking on the house I was heading home and at the intersection i saw the Taco Bell and decided to stop and get a quick bite to eat.  Well that turned into something different.

I parked in the parking lot of Prime Sirloin, a buffet restaurant i used to work at.  Its been closed for at least eight years now and I suddenly felt a sense of nostalgia,  so i walked around the old restaurant and peeked into the widows and noted how the place still looked as it did when i worked there.  Feeling my nostalgia needs had been met, i walked over to the Taco Bell to get something to eat.  As i walked through the parking lot i saw a black man with three young kids.  A girl and two boys.  I’d say the kids were ages 4 to 6 at best.

When the father noticed me looking at him and his kids i smiled and asked him if all three kids were his.   A married man of any race with three kids feels so rare nowadays so i felt the need to ask him in order to start a conversation that i hoped would end quickly.  After he confirmed that all three kids were his, he asked me if i had any children  I told him that sadly i didn’t, i was 35 and didn’t see much hope that i would marry and have children due to my financial situation.

He told me not to give up and told how at 33 he got married and began having children later.  he told me he had been homeless and on drugs up until that point, but he had found God, and God had blessed him with a good marriage and three children.  He told me i could do the same but i had to first be patient with God.  He told me that God does everything in His own time and that i should be as patient with God as He is with me.  I realized that the man was right.  I hadn’t been patient with God and i needed to be.  If i believed that God would help me then all i had to do is wait.

We talked a little more and we both came to realize that to a certain extent God had set up this meeting so we could receive a blessing from it.  It made me realize that God is still working on me and is still quite patient.

My Cousin’s Nice, Quiet, Charleston Wedding!

so over the weekend i went my cousins wedding in Charleston!  I had a good time and most of all…I got to take pictures!!!!!!!!  YAHOOO!!  Here’s a few of them!  They turned out really well!

I have to admit i am quite proud of myself!  yes i am!  Oh and in my next post i’ll post some pics of the area of Charleston i was in!