Emotional Roller-coaster for Thanksgiving.

Well as the title states it was a hell of a ride for Thanksgiving and beyond.  A couple of days before Thanksgiving I traveled with my parents by car to Ohio to be with my brother’s family for Thanksgiving.  We stayed from Tuesday to Saturday, making it back around 5 pm Saturday.  I took all sorts of pictures and played with my baby nephew who has just begun walking over the last month.  He takes a few steps and then falls over.  Its a good laugh and we all cheer him on as he looks at us with a big grin on his face!

But on the day we left to go to Ohio i got a call around 4 Am from my friend Tasha.  Her ex-husband and father of her two children had died just a couple of hours before she called me.  I was trapped between staying in town to comfort her or go with my family.  As you can see from reading above, i decided to go with my family, i had already made the commitment.

On the way home i also realized that i had either a really bad cold or the flu because i felt like crap the whole way home.  Saturday night i had chills.  I managed to make it to the funeral on Sunday afternoon and back home.  The funeral was a somber affair, i won’t go into details about how Fred died, but suffice to say it was sad none the less.  After that for about 3 days more i was battling whatever i had until i felt better.  And during those three days i had cousins asking for rides and such, i was not in a good mood, but i made it through.  On Tuesday i went to the doctor to ask about the ASG and how long i was supposed to wear the thing.  The nurse couldn’t give me a straight answer.  Although she did suggest that i should wear it when i had a need to.  At that time i took that advice to mean i had to figure it out for myself, since she apparently could not or did not ask the doctor since he was not there.  So i decided not to wear the ASG anymore since i felt i didn’t need it.

That idea lasted all of 3 days when i began to feel some tenderness and soreness in my right testicle again.  So i have been wearing the ASG on and off.  The thing is so damned uncomfortable though, so i wear it sparingly.  I finally decided to order something better online, cost me a total of twelve bucks for one pair on Amazon.  Although to be honest some of the sexy stuff looks a lot more comfortable, I just feel too embarrassed to even order the stuff, let alone wear it.  After i have all my bills sorted out though i may order another pair.  Just to have two comfortable pairs instead of one.

Beyond that I have a appoint with the urologist on the 7th of January.  I wonder why i have to wait so long.

Three funerals in one month

wow….*sigh*  Where to begin with it all.  Well it started early this month.  A friend of the family died, basically from old age.  And i went to that funeral.  I was kind of shaken by this funeral, even though i had known the end was coming.  Her death still seemed to be at the wrong time, and now that i look back on it, a bad omen.

Two weeks later i got word from my parents that my cousin’s husband, my cousin-in-law was in the hospital and his condition was grim.  He had apparently had a heart attack right after he had saved his wife and another cousin of mine from drowning at the beach.  The hope was that he would pull through, but as my parents told me of some of the specifics of his condition, i had a really bad feeling that he wasn’t going to make it.  Two days later, he died, and were going to the funeral three days later.  The funeral was hard on a lot of my family.  My cousin-in-law was only 40 years old, he was too young to pass away.

During the days in between my cousin-in-laws death and his funeral we received word that my aunt’s father had died suddenly.  Quite literally he was to be buried the day after my cousin-in-law’s funeral.  Suffice to say I was somewhat shaken by all this.  Bad things come in threes, and three funerals in one month is something that is really bad.

It’s been four days since the last funeral, and i have to admit i am glad this is all over.  Only one week left in this month, and i pray we can get through it without another death in my family.

Full circle

Well i am now unemployed…again.  This time i was fired/laid-off due to budget cuts.  No fault of my own but i still don’t like it.  Christmas went somewhat well since i was able to play Santa Claus this year.

So now I’m back to the same old schtick.  No job, no money, and no idea how to get either legally.  So what to do?  I have no idea.  Other then the internet and maybe the unemployment office.  Neither of which sound very good to me.  Also I’m suddenly getting interested in exercise, getting healthy, and dating.  It’s funny whenever i have a job you have to drag me out to do those things, even though i have the money to do them easily.  Then once I’m unemployed i suddenly have the urge to go out and do those things even though i have no money..  God i must be fucked up in the head.

5 ways we ruined the Occupy Wall Street Generation.


I saw this article while i was cruising the Internet.  What frightens me is that this truthful and almost thought-provoking article was written at Cracked.com.  You’d think that something like this would come from the Wall Street Journal or the New York Times.  But it truly appears now that only parody news websites like this can produce anything of value.

More then a month update.

Yes yes i haven’t written in a fucking month.  I know…I know.  I’ve been lazy, i’ve been dealing with a lot of shit too.  As of right now i have no car.  The timinging belt broke on the Neon and now i’m stuck.  I almost bought a Tuscon but my parents think it’s too much per month and they are right.  *sigh*  I don’t have much else to say tonight.  I just wanna go to bed and sleep.  I have to turn the Tuscon back in tomorrow.  Unless they can are willing to give it to me for 200 or 250 a month it cannot be done.

Done with Tosha…for now.

On Saturday Tosha came by and spoke to me.  She was visiting Casey’s family.  I explained things and that was it.  She told me she just wanted to love me as a friend and that we weren’t compatible.  And i realize that she is right.  Tosha is looking for some kind of bombastic stud who is not interested in settling down and will allow her to run about, to fail, and let her try.  That’s nice, but men cannot live like that.  I don’t feel like talking about anymore.  *sigh*  I may never speak to her again.  Not because i am angry, but it still hurts a lot.  And I know she understands .  Oh and her name is spelled Tasha.

Maybe some regrets.

*sigh*  I don’t fucking know any more.  I’m sitting up here folding weeklies and i still haven’t stopped thinking about Tosha.  It’s been 6 days now and at least once a day i think about what i have done.  I’m scared she’ll call and ask whats up or why i haven’t left a paper on her door in days.  But i get the feeling now that she knows what has happened, and maybe she’ll never call.  Maybe she’ll just move on, and so will I…

I feel like fucking crying whenever i even think that.  I keep wanting to say that this isn’t fair but i’m so tired of that.  I know life isn’t fair.  I know…