Emotional Roller-coaster for Thanksgiving.

Well as the title states it was a hell of a ride for Thanksgiving and beyond.  A couple of days before Thanksgiving I traveled with my parents by car to Ohio to be with my brother’s family for Thanksgiving.  We stayed from Tuesday to Saturday, making it back around 5 pm Saturday.  I took all sorts of pictures and played with my baby nephew who has just begun walking over the last month.  He takes a few steps and then falls over.  Its a good laugh and we all cheer him on as he looks at us with a big grin on his face!

But on the day we left to go to Ohio i got a call around 4 Am from my friend Tasha.  Her ex-husband and father of her two children had died just a couple of hours before she called me.  I was trapped between staying in town to comfort her or go with my family.  As you can see from reading above, i decided to go with my family, i had already made the commitment.

On the way home i also realized that i had either a really bad cold or the flu because i felt like crap the whole way home.  Saturday night i had chills.  I managed to make it to the funeral on Sunday afternoon and back home.  The funeral was a somber affair, i won’t go into details about how Fred died, but suffice to say it was sad none the less.  After that for about 3 days more i was battling whatever i had until i felt better.  And during those three days i had cousins asking for rides and such, i was not in a good mood, but i made it through.  On Tuesday i went to the doctor to ask about the ASG and how long i was supposed to wear the thing.  The nurse couldn’t give me a straight answer.  Although she did suggest that i should wear it when i had a need to.  At that time i took that advice to mean i had to figure it out for myself, since she apparently could not or did not ask the doctor since he was not there.  So i decided not to wear the ASG anymore since i felt i didn’t need it.

That idea lasted all of 3 days when i began to feel some tenderness and soreness in my right testicle again.  So i have been wearing the ASG on and off.  The thing is so damned uncomfortable though, so i wear it sparingly.  I finally decided to order something better online, cost me a total of twelve bucks for one pair on Amazon.  Although to be honest some of the sexy stuff looks a lot more comfortable, I just feel too embarrassed to even order the stuff, let alone wear it.  After i have all my bills sorted out though i may order another pair.  Just to have two comfortable pairs instead of one.

Beyond that I have a appoint with the urologist on the 7th of January.  I wonder why i have to wait so long.

Well I have some good news.

Just got the call from the doctors office a few minutes ago.  Every thing is good.  It’s nothing but some fluid surrounding both testicles.  Nothing to get upset about.  But the nurse could not elaborate as to how long each day I am supposed to be wearing the athletic support gear (jockstrap).  But what i was told is I do not have to take those pills every day, ONLY when i have pain or tenderness in that area!  So the pills are heading to the medicine cabinet tonight, YEAY!  Beyond that i just have to wait and hope i hear from the doctor about this jockstrap thing.  For now I’ll just call it a athletic support gear or ASG.  But thank God nothing was seriously wrong with.  Thanks to everyone for their prayers and support.

In the last few days…

I’ve been soul searching.  I guess everyone does it when they suddenly become unemployed.  I’ve been thinking back to when i got that call from my supervisor when he told me that the higher-ups had fired me.  The first thought that had popped into my mind was, “This was supposed to happen, this is the way it’s supposed to be.”  Now i have my faith and I’m proud of it, so immediately the though that this was some kind of comfort or thought from God came to mind.  I immediately pushed the thought aside and my supervisor and I tried to find a way for me to get my job back.  It was a underhanded idea but i wanted my job back.  Even as we were discussing it i actually felt bad about planning this caper because it made me no better then the person who had fired me.  Of course my route was split up two days later, thus making my plan impossible to succeed.  So now I’ve been sitting here for the last few weeks wondering what to do next.

I don’t have any answers.  Only a sense that i should wait and let God guide me, and I’m not to sure on that one anymore either.  I wonder if i just came up with that idea myself.  One moment I’m pissed about the whole thing, the next moment i don’t even care.  So I don’t even know where I’m going with it all.  That’s the biggest problem with it all, having no answers.  I’ve spent the last few weeks on the computer or on the PS3 with occasional spurts of exercise.  I’ve been catching up on webcomics that i haven’t read in years, looking and answering in forums that i used to barely pay attention to.  I also played the lottery and got myself signed up at Publisher’s Clearing House.  Yes i have been praying that i win the lottery or PCH.  I’ve never prayed for such a thing before because i always thought it was a cheap, easy way out of poverty, but now I think I’m a little wiser.

One of the things i’ve been studying in the last few days is the whole ‘alpha’ male thing.  Now i know that will piss some of my feminist followers off.  But i have to admit my eyes have been opened, and i realize that i have let my manhood and sexual happiness slip because of this beta male mentality i’ve had with dating women for years.  So i need to find my own source of ‘Alpha maleness’ and get back on track to being a happier person.

Well that’s it for now.