I feel as if i’ve been away a long time

But its only been two weeks. But in the weeks before these two so much has happened which has kept me busy and emotionally racing. In fact it’s been a rough 4 weeks. Early in March my left shoulder started hurting. At first it I thought it was just a little annoying and it would go away in a few days. But when i rolled over in bed and tried to reach over to turn off my alarm clock, pain shot through my shoulder, my entire arm went numb and i could barely move my arm. That was when i started to worry. I sloughed on through for two weeks until my Dad and mother mention that they want to learn the route so i can take a day off. I asked why and they tell me that My Aunt Debbie, who has had a paper route a few years ago tells me she is concerned because i’ve been working non-stop since i started the job, which true. I finally realize that maybe i do need to take a day off. So i’ve been planning on making a tape when i remember or get time.

What truly scared me is that i saw this offer from my parents as another part of a bad omen concerning my job. First the shoulder and now this. The next night my shoulder is sore and numb, I can barely move it without pain. I start to get really worried and scared. I was worried I had torn a rotator cuff in my shoulder which would eventually make it impossible for me to work. So i’m sitting in my car, trying desperately to do my job, I’m in a lot of pain and wondering how long i have before i have to stop working, i start praying and crying a bit.

Yeah…I cried. But i love this job and didn’t want to lose it. So i’m asking God why and asking Him for help as well. So over the last two weeks the pain has subsided greatly. Now i think i just pulled a muscle. I need to get off my ass and go see a doctor or orthopedist or something about this shoulder, i still have some pain in it. Well some other things have happened as well, and they are serious, but i want to put them in a separate post so as not to confuse myself or anyone else. Well I hope you keep reading


I am singing the praises somewhat. O.k. I’m exaggerating, but i am happy because i finally got my tooth pulled. After 3 plus weeks of taking pain pills, two weeks of scrapping my tongue on that temporary filling, and basically just being fucking miserable; the tooth is gone!! And after 5 or so days i’ll be able to eat like a normal human being again. Well o.k. maybe not totally, without that back tooth, eating hard things may be kinda difficult. But it’s worth it, just to loose the pain and misery.

The surgery went great. They put me to sleep and it was so fast. All i remember is the I.V. going in and then I’d say three seconds later i was out like a light, and the next thing i remember was being rolled in a wheelchair to my mom’s car. I was disoriented but i knew where i was and i got into the car and my mom took me home. I slept for an hour or more and then woke up to my mom putting some soup on a tray beside my bed. I ate and drank as best i could, took the pain medication and dozed for a bit before deciding to listen to Rush Limbaugh. But I was still in some pain so i ended up taking one more pill. So at 8 p.m. tonight (30 minutes from now) I’ll take two more and hope that evens everything out. At least i can go back to work. That has been my biggest worry since last week since the dentist was telling me the anesthesia, or the pain medication would have me knocked on my ass for 24 hours. I was concerned that i would need a sub, but i wasn’t really prepared. So i decided to wing it any damn way! My gutsiness paid off because this operation was going to cost me $470 dollars, and a sub anywhere from 25 to 35 dollars a night. NO WAY!!!

I must admit to being slightly disoriented at times, like my thoughts are sort of jumbled, so I’d better be careful tonight. I just got back from getting some Cotton Candy Explosion ice cream at Bruster’s. It’s so strange. I didn’t feel dizzy, i just felt tired and sort of out of it for most of the drive. Well I’m going to bed. I need all the sleep I can get. But this may get ugly, because i need to take these pain pills every six hours. I just took two pills at 8 p.m., so now i wonder if I’m gonna wake up in a bitch of pain. So now i have to decide if i should wake up early to take some pills or just try to sleep through and take the pills when i finally wake up. Decisions, decisions. *sigh* Sometimes my life really sucks.