Episcopalian Church on Easter Sunday.

This past Easter Sunday i decided to go to church with my friend Tara.  Tara’s car had broken down some time ago and she really wanted to go to Easter Service so I agreed to take her.  Due to some other things coming up we went to the 11 AM service.  I had decided to go with her and stay for the service mainly out of curiosity.  To be honest i don’t attend church that often any more.  I don’t know why, but i go when i feel the need or my conscience gets in my case enough.

I have to admit i enjoyed the service.  I had at first thought that we were going to a Catholic church, mainly because i had no idea what kind of denomination Tara was other then it was similar to the Catholic religion.  But the Episcopal Church is quite literally a faith that broke away from the Roman Catholic faith during the formation of the Church of England.  So they basically stripped a lot of the traditions and other things from their idea of the faith.  You might say they mixed Baptist beliefs with Catholic beliefs and came out with some thing that is neither but both a the same time.

In the end i have decided that i will probably go back next Sunday.  Suffice to say i felt very welcome at the church and since i enjoyed the quiet sermon and people i kind of feel compelled to go back again.  But next time i think I’ll bring a camera with me.  The architecture inside that church is sweet!

Around the Corner…

So earlier today I went to check on my parent’s place because they are out of town.  After checking on the house I was heading home and at the intersection i saw the Taco Bell and decided to stop and get a quick bite to eat.  Well that turned into something different.

I parked in the parking lot of Prime Sirloin, a buffet restaurant i used to work at.  Its been closed for at least eight years now and I suddenly felt a sense of nostalgia,  so i walked around the old restaurant and peeked into the widows and noted how the place still looked as it did when i worked there.  Feeling my nostalgia needs had been met, i walked over to the Taco Bell to get something to eat.  As i walked through the parking lot i saw a black man with three young kids.  A girl and two boys.  I’d say the kids were ages 4 to 6 at best.

When the father noticed me looking at him and his kids i smiled and asked him if all three kids were his.   A married man of any race with three kids feels so rare nowadays so i felt the need to ask him in order to start a conversation that i hoped would end quickly.  After he confirmed that all three kids were his, he asked me if i had any children  I told him that sadly i didn’t, i was 35 and didn’t see much hope that i would marry and have children due to my financial situation.

He told me not to give up and told how at 33 he got married and began having children later.  he told me he had been homeless and on drugs up until that point, but he had found God, and God had blessed him with a good marriage and three children.  He told me i could do the same but i had to first be patient with God.  He told me that God does everything in His own time and that i should be as patient with God as He is with me.  I realized that the man was right.  I hadn’t been patient with God and i needed to be.  If i believed that God would help me then all i had to do is wait.

We talked a little more and we both came to realize that to a certain extent God had set up this meeting so we could receive a blessing from it.  It made me realize that God is still working on me and is still quite patient.

harmonic convergence and individuality

I was listening to Coast to Coast AM last night and once again George has some ‘tard on as a guest who felt that in 2012 the world would go through a harmonic convergence and 70% percent of the planet would suddenly evolve to a higher conscience and way of thinking.  Bullshit!!  Once caller summed up this ludicrous idea perfectly.  The caller wanted to know if Americans would be the ones to have a severe problem with the harmonic convergence because we cling so deeply to our individuality.  You got that right you stupid, commie hippie, bastard!

This is what scares me about humanity.  We have a ever growing group of fools who seem to think tha the only way for mankind to become a better, more evolved species is but becoming a hive-mind like intelligence.  That individuality is too costly, dull, and detrimental to society and the human race as a whole.  In other word these assholes wanna end up like the Borg or the Daleks.  But they don’t see it that way.  What they want to see is peace, happiness and a end to their own hardship and suffering in life.  In other words they want to commit suicide but don’t have the guts.  They want some cosmic event to change the world for them and our souls be damned is o.k. just so long as they get to see Utopia before they die!

The absence of free will, individualty, and our overall humanity is not good, it is not a positive form of evolution!  It is wrong, it is evil, and most of all it is not HUMAN!

Tasha is back.

I sat and thought about it all ever since she left.  Three days ago she called me.  I ignored the phone call at first, but i had a really bad feeling that something was wrong.  I thought about her call the entire day.  I tried convincing myself that she probably just wanted to chat.  After all we had talked that day and she knew how i felt.  But then i realized something.  No matter what i would always be her friend.  And maybe…just maybe, she needed me right now.  And i was being selfish in some ways.

So at 6 p.m. I e-mailed her.  She called me back almost immediately.  She told me what was going on.  She had been in tears because of some incident.  I quietly cursed myself for my stupidity and selfishness.  NEVER AGAIN!  I will never do such a thing AGAIN.  She had really needed me and i had pussied out.

I listened and advised, but most of all i listened.  I let her get everything she needed off of her chest.  I realize what a terrible person i have been.  Yes…I won’t be visiting for perhaps a long time…but still I am her friend.  And i find myself loving her as a friend now.

God has never abandoned me, even though right now i’m being a real asshole.  And i claim tobe a Christian, but at that moment I realized just how wrong i had been.  God is my friend and he hasn’t abandoned me, so why did i even contemplate abandoning Tasha?  Because i was so hurt and i wanted…maybe i needed to walk away.  But i can’t abandon her as a friend.  After all i am one of the good guys!

Deathwatch Ministry…

I met a man of the Death Watch the other day,

He told me it was his ministry.

To each hospital he goes to pray,

To watch over the living and dying every day.

What more to this can i say, other then for this man’s continued health and strength, i do for pray,

For when i first met him that other day, to his niece’s side, for the death watch he was going.

Because she would never see the sunrise of the next day.

I felt like doing a bit of poetry.  I met Rev. Lee on Monday as i was doing my paper route.  He told me his story and i was moved.  It also made me feel bad because i had had a hard time facing my grandmothers death.  She died of Alzheimer’s disease.  But while i don’t envy this man’s ministry, i do envy his strength.  i don’t think I’d have to heart to do what he does.


Ohhhh Gawd…

Fred Thompson has just announced that he is dropping out of the race. GODDAMNIT!!! Yes I’m sorry for cursing but I feel its all up shit creek now. Thompson was one of the few decent conservatives we had in this race.

So where do we go from here? Rudy? Or maybe Mitt? Just about all the choices suck!


Comfort Zone with God

I have a friend who has chosen the lesbian lifestyle. And i mean that literally. Over the last two years she has developed a strong faith. And i have to admit i was impressed by it. I even felt bad because i came to realize that my faith seemed a little short compared to the strength of her faith. Now as you know I’m a admitted bisexual. And yes I DO KNOW HOW GOD FEELS ABOUT ALTERNATIVE SEXUALITY. I have accepted that fact, and all that comes with. All i can say is, “I am not perfect.” There’s no need to write about how i can be saved and such. I know the deal, believe me.

But what i want to post about is a sort of shocking revelation that i received a few weeks ago when my friend Tosha and I were talking about a number of things that had happened in my life recently. Airing a lot of feelings out for myself. One thing Tosha told me was that she had always felt that Sara and I were not truly compatible. And that i was willing to sacrifice/risk a lot just to be with her, even marry her. Tosha said that was one of the things that disturbed her about our relationship, that i seemed willing to cast aside some of my more serious beliefs about what i wanted in a wife in order to be with Sara. One of those things was my conviction about my faith. I had went to Sara’s church one Sunday, which is a Unitarian Universalism Church. Tosha was surprised that I had even went. Even she thinks the UUC is a cult. We talked and laughed about it for a little while. And she wondered where someone would get the idea to come up with such a religion and how anyone could follow it. I told her that a lot of people want God on their terms, and are willing to lie to themselves and believe that God is this or that. Or they pick and choose things from the Bible that back up their feelings or their deeds in life and ignore the rest, and use those Scriptures that they pick and choose as the basis to back up their faith when they are challenged.

I quoted a few scriptures that i knew by heart and a few other that i didn’t know too well. And Tosha said she didn’t know most of them. I rattled off a few more and Tosha once again said she didn’t know any of them, hadn’t even heard of them. Now Tosha used to be a church goer, and she on more then one occasion had said these words, “you know in the Bible”. But by the time i was done she had admitted that she had barely even read ANY of the Bible, and what little she had read, she didn’t remember. I was shocked into silence for a moment, i couldn’t think of anything to say.

When i finally reclaimed my voice i realized that Tosha hadn’t truly read anything in the Bible. Now I’m no Biblical scholar, but i know more then the first few lines in Genesis and the book of Revelations, which is all that Tosha knows via paraphrase. Tosha then decided that she wanted to change the topic of the discussion since her girlfriend Casey had come in and sat down beside her. I asked Casey right then and there what she knew of the Bible and her answer, which is typical of her was, “Well uh, i don’t know. (typical) I never really read the Bible either. Now Casey, I understand her ignorance, she is 19 yrs old and I can tell she is not the world’s brightest bulb. I don’t think she’s a fool or anything, but she speaks very little and adds almost nothing.

But Tosha is supposed to have some college education, and have a strong faith, but in the end she is just like those people we were joking about. Having a strong faith but nothing to back it up is very, very bad. And the reason for Tosha’s lack of knowledge was plain and simple. She doesn’t want to face the truth of the choices she has made. I said this much to both of them.

Tosha has her own “Comfort Zone with God.” And in her comfort zone with God, she prays for God, has a strong faith in God, God helps her, and loves her. But she doesn’t have to face her sins either. In fact in her comfort zone her lifestyle probably isn’t very sinful and God is just gonna help her out and she can love him. I don’t know what to think about it, other then i know its wrong. What can or should I say? I’ve decided not to say anything any more. I think she has made it clear that she doesn’t want to deal with it at them moment.


Final Thoughts on Evangelism.

Well i read Mike Ratcliff’s blog and i found much of what I needed. I should have mentioned long before that I am also saved myself, but i forgot to do so.

So what have I discovered is that the secular/progressive and anti-Christian crowd use the words evangelical Christian as a code word to describe what they see as backwoods, ignorant, gun toting hicks who are uneducated, go to church on Wednesday and Sunday, and have a gunrack in the back of their pick-up trucks. For the more uptown version of the evangelical the SPs laugh even harder. Evangelicals from the city are a bunch of silly 20 something yuppies, who actually have Bible verses in their palm pilots. I remember a woman on television commenting about how her daughter met some one just like this and she had a good laugh at how dumb the poor Christian was. Her daughter was shocked that “people” like this actually existed. The daughter said, “Oh my God i had no idea what an evangelical Christian was like before this. I never thought i’d actually find one!” WTH?

So we have a small but ever growing group of the American public that views any form of serious Christianity as a group of kooks. Unfortunately they run the media and seem to have some sway over Washington. Sometimes it feels like other then Bill O’Reilly only a few other people including myself seem to know whats going on. But that doesn’t mean I’m giving up or anything.

Well…weather I’m regarded as a kook, or some wacko Christian fundamentalist, I will be sticking with God. Its better the hanging out with Barbra Walters and her dumb bimbo of a daughter.


To Evangelical or not to Evangelical?

Ok I’ve heard these new media bywords tossed around for at least 2 years now. The words are “evangelical” and “evangelical Christian“.

Now do i have a problem with these words? I don’t know. Just recently i’ve gotten the feeling that the word has more of a insulting or labeling tone to it. I’m hoping someone can answer my question about these words. Because i don’t want a label that the secular/anti-Christian media will use against us first chance they get. They seem to be gearing for just knife in the back with Mike Huckabee who has suddenly become favorable in their eyes. I also want to know how society sees the evangelical Christian. And if there is some negative connotations to it. I hope to get a lot of comments on this.